Caityquilter.com » Vanity

Blah.

Caitlin — Mon, 25 May 2009 07:28:31 +0000

Apologies for my silence, Dear Reader. I have been ill. *sigh* Again.

The tummy pain is back with a vengeance… almost to pre-surgery levels. It’s stopping me from doing things. I hate that.

I haven’t been to the gym in WEEKS. I haven’t trained, haven’t done weights, haven’t been to a SINGLE class. Ugh. And you know what? Not only do I feel awful, my skin has gone really ratty too. Who knew that even my SKIN was benefiting from exercise? I know it makes sense, skin being the largest organ, etc, but sheesh!

(Fortunately when I was at the GPs today to get a coupla new scripts and a referral to Yet Another Expensive Doctor, I jumped on the scales: 98 kg. I honestly thought that I would have been back over the 100kg mark, what with not worrying about calories AT ALL while I was away, and not going to work out. )

I have done no sewing. Not even tracing patterns. Or finishing off a dress that only needs armhole and neck bindings and a hem to make it wearable.

I have managed a small amount of house cleaning, though. I get tired of living in my mess every so often and then tend to overdo things (does that sound familiar to anyone else?) so I’m limiting myself to half an hour a day of solid housework.

Mr Beloved, Constance J. Woodle, Miss Kit Tern and the birdies are all well, if slightly bored by my constant whining about my tummy hurting.

We watched a documentary yesterday about guitars (Mr Beloved is a talented muso, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned that? All self taught, and very fond of experimental music and mucking about on guitars) and he said:”Do you think I would be less depressed if I played more often?”

Um.

Do you think *I* would be less depressed if I actually sewed/made art more often?

Um.

It’s all about balance, isn’t it?

balancing act...

ONE MORE SLEEP!

Caitlin — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 07:59:02 +0000

Yep. Just one more sleep to go and then Sue and I are headed to BRISVEGAS, baby!

Friday AND Saturday - so not only will we be going to the Stitches and Craft Show, we might also do a bit of shopping and checking out fabric stores… honestly, I’m so excited about this trip away!!

Not least because for the first time IN A VERY LONG TIME, I might be able to try on some clothes.

Yeah, you heard me – NEW CLOTHES!! Even though I have been quite crook this week with swelly belly (?endometriosis returning? Seems VERY likely given symptoms and duration – off to see the specialist again soon) the dietician assures me that I have lost another couple of centimetres from my waist. My (normal, not fat chick sizes!) size 18 jeans are falling down on me. Obviously, I’m a different size and shape to where I was last winter!

I’m not planning on BUYING any clothes, mind you – not financial enough for that! – but just being able to try on different shaped things will be awesome. There are things like tunics that I would love to make but I need to know first if they look ok on me – same with dresses. It’s a lot of work to sew something and then decide you HATE the style!

But more than the shopping – I’m super excited about the inspiration I know I’ll get from the show. I hope to meet Nikkishell (from Wardrobe Refashion and Burda Style) and buy some clothing patterns from Stephanie at Can Do Books and Perpetual Patterns… and I’m looking forward to the fashion shows and the teacosy exhbition and – well, EVERYTHING!

I will, I will!!

(Meantime, here’s something else I am super inspired by – from another shop I wish I could afford.

In fact, if I had money I would buy one of EVERYTHING from Clothkits… meantime I have a panel of this fabulous Olivia fabric that I am dying to give the same lining-and-bustling treatment!

One sleep to go!

Some YAYness! And some thoughts…

Caitlin — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 12:51:45 +0000

So after 12 months of feeling guilty about not keeping up my food diary as well as I should; 12 months of (pretty much) weekly weigh-ins; and hearing the same info nearly every visit….today (Thursday when I started writing this)was my penultimate visit with the dietician. I had my end of program medical on Tuesday…the doctor (also my GP which is handy) was VERY pleased.

Me? I’m a bit … meh.

Until – it actually hits me that:

losing 16.5% of starting weight is considered a BIG success in weight loss terms (5- 10% is considered enough to be significant for health)
Instead of having blood pressure in the “OMG MEDICATION NOW!!” range ( I was on 16 mg candesartan a day) – my BP is now on the low side (110/70).
The last blood tests I had done showed that I’m still getting fat OUT of my liver – a huge benefit, and one that only comes from exercise…
In the last year I’ve lost *deep breath* THIRTY CENTIMETRES OFF MY WAIST AND NINETEEN CENTIMETRES OFF MY HIPS.
(for those non-metric readers I’ll say that again: 12″ from the waist, 7.6″ from the hips.)
I’m (mostly) enjoying going to the gym now – I would have laughed if you’d predicted that a year ago.
and let’s not forget that I had major surgery in August last year – only 8 months ago.

Do I look like this?

DEFINITELY NOT!!

Do I want to? On my more irrational days I have moments of thinking I’d like to be THIS THIN (size 6? or smaller?) just for a little while, just to see what it’s like… then reality hits me upside the head, reminding me that I am FAR too enamoured of pastries, banana muffins, and cheese for this to EVER happen. Not to mention – there’s no MUSCLE on those skin and bones, is there? Ewwww!!

(Please go read the excellent post that brought this picture to my attention, on Spring Girl’s blog, Healthy from 25 to 100)

(And here’s Mia’s take on the same photo)

Well, if not the super skinny model above, who DO I want to look like, as I lose weight and as I get fitter, leaner, stronger? No one immediately springs to mind – I’m not aiming to look like Jennifer Anniston, or Madonna, or whoever… I just want to NOT WOBBLE. And yeah, B-cup boobs would be ACE, thanks very much. Nicely defined arms, and a tummy that didn’t embarrass me, yep.

Is that enough of a goal?

Sometimes. Other times (like whenever I have to walk past a BAKERY) it takes more willpower than I have to remember that I might as well just smear those pastries on my tummy, not even bother eating them, because that’s exactly where they’ll end up. And do you KNOW how long it takes on the treadmill to walk off the 292 calories in this?

HOURS. And HOURS.

(note: picture nicked online. I don’t actually have one of those yummy scrummy custardy sultana-y cool pastries flakily awaiting me in the house. I haven’t bought one in at least a month…)

*sigh* I need something tattooed on my wrist to remind me of this, I swear. Maybe just “REALLY?” would do it. Or a small script version of “An instant on the lips…”

(And please don’t tell me not to walk past bakeries. They’re insidious. Bloody things are everywhere, LURKING. Don’t even get me started on coffee shops…)

Ahem. My rationality obviously left the building for a while there….

I missed Ki Max class on Friday – swelly belly struck me down yet again. I’m hoping that it will settle down again and it’s NOT a return of the endometriosis – that would be very annoying.

But even when I miss classes, at least I’m still getting to the gym regularly. Step class tomorrow – yay!

and now – boringly – I’m off back to bed. Ciao!

wah wah tired wah wah wah weight wah wah wah

Caitlin — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 11:14:59 +0000

wah wah wah.

Another day of blah-ness. Still SUPER tired – and I didn’t even get stay up late and watch the Formula One Grand Prix because – surprise SURPRISE SURPRISE – when you (and by “you” here I mean the Evil Power That Controls F1) schedule a race in the tropics IN THE MIDDLE OF MONSOON SEASON in the late afternoon, IT GETS RAINED OUT. A LOT.

Jenson wins in the wet

This isn’t the first year, and it won’t be the last – but honestly, when the race gets red flagged at not even half way – well, booo hissss! I don’t want the drivers or the cars to come to harm: the race HAD to be stopped, it was ridiculous. But why in MONSOON SEASON, huh? WHY?? *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*

At least all this jumping up and down in a rage counts as exercise, yes?

Hmmm, what other news? Well … I haven’t been sewing. There are several (completely lame-o) reasons for this:

I’m tired (yeah, wah wah wah)
I can’t seem to keep the table cleared off for long enough to lay out fabric, pin the pattern to it, and get it cut out
My sewing machine is overdue for a service (and this is possible the LAME-EST excuse of all, because in fact I own *mumblety- three* sewing machines at last count.)
oh, and here’s a good one- I’m feeling too fat to sew. Yep, that’s right, I’m feeling frumpy so rather than sewing myself something fun and enjoying wearing it, I’m moping about and being grumpy about having nothing to wear.

It’s my head, I never said it had to make sense….

Tomorrow I’m off to see YAED (Yet Another Expensive Doctor). Last week’s YAED was the dermatologist, who changed the long term antibiotics I’m on, said to take them for another 2 months, and call him if the rash came back when I stopped taking them. Ummm, guess what? I missed 3 tablets and it’s BAAAAACK, like some sort of horror movie freak show skin-itching DEMON. I remembered to take the medicine today so hopefully it will calm down again – but sheesh!

And did I mention the wonderful side effect of itchy itchy ITCHY OH MY GOSH PASS ME THE GARNET PAPER I NEED TO SAND MY SKIN OFF IT’S SO ITCHY skin when I go into the sun? No? Oh well, probably only a MINOR side effect…

And tomorrow’s YAED is the gynaecologist – will I spare you the gruesome details? Dear Reader, will you survive the SUSPENSE?!

The McFractured Skirt

Caitlin — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 06:28:43 +0000

TWIRL!!

So here it is: The McFractured Tartan skirt. As you might be able to see, I went a teeny bit berserk on the piecing… there was no plan, just lots of hacking fabric apart and then sewing it up again. I *could* have just used the fabric as it was off the bolt, but – naaaah! I have more of the same fabric on layby, and the plan is to make a little jacket that is *perfectly* matched across the plaid. Just to show I can, you know!

Fabric was a bargain buy from Gardams. It’s a wool/ poly/viscose blend, and creases just seem to drop out of it. It also goes through the washing machine very well! I used a couple of metres of inch wide black grosgrain ribbon for the waist ties. Top is a $7 special from Rockmans; shoes are my favourite I Love Billys that you have seen me wearing almost every photo.

Pattern is the wrap skirt included in this book:

which of course I have mentioned previously. I did alter the pattern for length. And for width *sigh* since I am CONSIDERABLY larger than the pattern given, LOL! Still got a long way to go on this weight loss/getting fit thing…

… as the dog and I are both showing our rounded tummies in this pic!

Give me patience… NOW!

Caitlin — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 12:31:20 +0000

So I didn’t go to the gym on the weekend – which would have been FINE had I not baked Peach Crumble Slice last night. And eaten ALL OF IT with Mr Beloved. Oh dear.

Never mind – rather than dwelling on the mistake, I took myself and my new cross trainers off to the gym this arvo.

Asics Gel 580-TR cross trainers

Did my 30 minutes of cardio stuff (Translation: panting on the treadmill while it makes whooshy up and down noises as it changes the gradient – so high tech!) and 30 or so minutes of upper body resistance training (Trans: Wobbly tuckshop lady arms struggling to lift teeny weeny weights).

Then home via the library (because as we all know, there is NOTHING TO READ in my house….) in time for Scrapheap Challenge.

Tomorrow I’ve got an Exciting Thing to do! It involves the transformation from this old version of Caity….

Caity, June 2008

… into the new (slightly more slimline!) short haired blonde seen around here lately… with more make-up. Think I’ll even ending up wearing the same top (although we might have to pin it back slightly!)

More on that tomorrow. I’ve know about this for a week, and kinda wish that I had known longer in advance, because then I would have attempted the stupid unrealistic thing of “how much weight can I lose before THEN?”!

Uh – maybe not, eh? I’m where I am NOW. That will do.

I mean, I’ve come a long way already in the weight loss/getting fit/getting healthy stuff… I’m just feeling frustrated at myself because I feel like the results aren’t happening quickly enough. I know, it takes time, it takes training – but my inner toddler says “WANT IT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!”

Fortunately my inner surly teen whiner (“what’s the use, this isn’t gonna work, you can’t make me do this ANYWAY”) is securely locked in her room and is not allowed out.

So I’ll keep going. And going. and talk to my personal trainer after Pilates class tomorrow night about re-focussing and what I need to do next.

Time for a (lo-fat!) hot choc and a few pages before I zonk. Night all!

An important question:

Caitlin — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 13:46:06 +0000

[memedex: pollid#489175] Related posts: It doesn’t matter what the question is…. Pattern Review: McCall’s 5430 GIRLY DAY! Related posts:

So… tired….

Caitlin — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 12:04:34 +0000

Didn’t sleep well last night, one of the mysteries of the universe, that…

So as I was lying in bed this morning debating whether or not to get up (Caity’s Conscience: “But you missed gym yesterday!” Caity’s Rationalisation: “But I can’t train EVERY day…”) when my BFF texted me: “Shoe shopping after gym?”

WELL!! Caity’s Conscience and Caity’s Rationalisation both got a swift kick in the behind and out the door! Once I got there I *was* just going to do my weights program…but I’ve been dancing around the idea of joining the Ki Max class (group class with lots of boxing and kicking, 4 people to a standing bag) and when one of the other newbies I’d spoken to recently was doing I thought – why not?

Another newbie for the class?!

IT WAS AWESOME!! It really oughta be illegal to have that much fun while actually doing a good workout AND getting to smash the (imagined) anatomy of various people who have aroused my anger.

*side-strike side-strike back-hand* THAT’S for your pr0n collection, 2nd husband!

*jab jab hook* and THAT’S for your not processing my bank transfer in a timely matter, big bank!

*thingummy whose name I can’t remember but where you hit upwards – body strike?* OOOMPH! and TAKE THAT, rude checkout chicky babe!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh. The release!!! The HIGH!!! The satisfaction!

I have never sweated so much in my entire life. I had to stop and sit down a coupla times, but WOOOOOHOOOOO!!!! Of course, it helped that one of the gym owners was giving us three newbies our own little tutorials – how good is that service?

The only baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad thing was that because I did the class at the last minute, I had to use the old sweaty gloves that are kept in reserve … omg, the PONG!!! So before next Friday I will do as everyone else does, and buy my own gloves.

I am amazed how far I’ve come in that last twelve months – I do need to be reminded (perhaps LOUDLY, dear readers!) of that.

Now I am taking my sore shoulders and abs for a nice soak in the bath.

(I'll probably NOT be wearing my ruby lipstick, though!)

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Caitlin — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 05:27:29 +0000

(hands up who now has a David Bowie earworm? You’re welcome!)

I have made a lot of changes in the last year. Losing weight, starting exercise; the TAHBSO (Total Abdominal Hysterectomy and Bilateral Salpingo-Oopherectomy and ensuing surgical menopause; taking better care of my skin, wearing make-up more; and getting more interested in clothing and fashion again after years of hiding in shapeless oversized clothes.

Not to mention actually getting real help with my mental illness(es?!), being in a stable and loving relationship (*mwah!* to the Teabot5000) and working towards not only getting out of debt but STAYING out of debt.

Most of these changes have been difficult, and especially so for the poor old Teabot5000 – He. Does. Not. Like. Change.

I mean, it would be hard enough for most men – but throw in the Asperger’s and you could have a disaster.

So far, we’ve managed to keep sailing. Mostly. We’ve had a few instances where we’ve both had to bail water out of the bottom of the boat, so to speak…

But then today I was soooooo ANGRY!!!

Not really at himself. Just at – well, EVERYTHING! I’m tired of being broke. I’m REALLY tired of that. I’m tired of having to watch every single cent as it briefly transits through our bank account into someone else’s pocket.

I’m tired of being TIRED. Still. (although some of that may be due to not getting enough iron – see “watching every bloody cent” above…)

I’m tired of feeling like my life has no meaning.

Yes, I know we’re well off compared to many – we have the house, we have the car, we have each other, we’re not starving, we have clean water etc etc. I know I should be grateful for all that and I am – but I am feeling whiney and miserable and I just want to know WHY IS IT ALL SO HARD?!?!

There are some luxuries in my life, after all – the gym membership is expensive (but nowhere near as expensive as staying fat and inactive); and I generally get help to see the medical professionals I need to see. We have the internet, for gawd’s sake.

And I am fully aware that my former spending habits (and a few episodes of uncontrolled mania) are largely to blame for our current situation.

Maybe if I sell a kidney, I could afford some fripperies?

(you know I’m joking about the kidney, right? But if you’re interested in second hand sewing machines, let’s make a DEAL!)

BUT – I would like to be well enough to work. At something meaningful. Is that too much to ask? (Probably, given the economy – with so many able bodied/non-mentally-ill/more recently employed potential employees out there, who on earth is going to “spare a shekel for an old ex leper?”, to slightly misquote The Pythons.)

They all want the one advertised job...

Congrats if you’ve managed to read this far without my whine turning into the noise Charlie Brown’s teachers make:

Wah Wah Wah

The new (old) skirt

Caitlin — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 07:28:41 +0000

New (old) skirt

So remember a few posts back (before the blog was Hjørsejacked for the nano song) I mentioned I was reworking a skirt? Here it is.

(As you can see, I still have quite a way to go on getting rid of the tummy *sigh*. I think I’m doing SO well and then I see a photo of myself and get all discouraged.)

Mr Beloved says this is NOT the most flattering outfit, and he’s right; but at least I have a wearable skirt for a little while. And the trim is so much fun!

Ribbons (mostly from the stash), some measuring tape (which may have belonged to my Nana – or someone else’s Nana, I do seem to get a lot of inherited craft bits and bobs!) that had suffered an unfortunate accident with a rotary cutter; and a flurry of tulle at the hem. (also unintentional but inevitable trim: small feathers from the cockatiels, cat fur, and poodle hairs.)

Anyway, I’m happy with it, it’s a fun skirt to wear, and even though I ended up pretty much remaking the darn thing from scratch, it was worth doing. PLEASE tell me honestly what you think of the skirt!!

(if you’re interested, the review is here on Pattern Review)

Now if only the new Ottobre Woman magazine would come so I could make some other patterns up….

Meanwhile, I’m off the to the gym for Pilates class. I went to the physiotherapist (again) today and he worked out that I have some residual nerve damage from my glorious ankle twist of mid January… also that I have long-standing issues with my C6-C7 neck joint which are in fact the cause of some of my wrist weakness and pain. Huh! I also have ulna/radius joint weakness as well, so it’s lost more rehabilitation exercises for me and even more phsyiotherapist appointments… it never ends!! Who knew that hyper-flexible joints were such a problem?