ageing

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ARRGH!  I have LOST an issue of Cloth Paper Scissors magazine and I MUST FIND IT!! It’s soooooooooo frustrating – I have every .single. other. issue and there is stuff I HAVE to re-read RIGHT NOW in issue #15 and I have been looking for it for days. ALL WEEK, in fact.

CPS 15

I have looked through all my nests.  (This is what Mr Beloved calls the accumulations of STUFF that appear around me when I get interested in something… my armchair and my bedside table are permanent nests.)

I have shaken out every magazine on the bookshelves in case this issue somehow got tangled inside another one. I have pushed and pulled at books in case the magazine had slipped behind a larger volume.

I have looked in the sewing room, under the kitchen table, under the sofa, behind the tv.

I have found MANY MANY places where this magazine ISN’T.

I have found the instruction sheet for the washing machine (the powder is meant to go WHERE?), many old envelopes (pre-paid – I wonder if Australia post will still honour them?) and where the missing reams of printer paper have been hiding.

I have found several older journals with only a few pages used up.  (It’s hereditary – my grandfather was just the same, he’d use up three or four pages of a writing pad and then start a new one.  10 years after his death, my parents and I are still using up his writing pads. I particularly like the ones which have aged to  a yellow or brown, it’s a very nice patina to them.)

BUT I HAVE NOT FOUND CPS 15!!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!

Caity the Muddle-Headed: Darling, I’m looking for a book I’m pretty sure I own – The Creative License by Danny Gregory? About [this] big by [this] big? Paperback?

TeaBot5000™: (after brief rant in which he expresses frustration at being required to be The All Knowing Librarian, WHO ALWAYS has to shift books around, etc, all of which is true) Of course you can’t find it, you’re LOOKING for it.  You’ll have to wait ’til it sneaks up on you.

CTMH: I know, I’ll go look on amazon and see if… AHA!  I do own it, I ordered it in 2006!

TB: It may not have made it out of the bedroom yet sweetie.

CTMH: I must have cleaned the bedroom since 2006! SURELY!

TB: “Cleaned” is different from “Left the bedroom”, sweetie.

CTMH: Humph.

Creative License

It turns our it HAD left the bedroom (ha!) And was having a lovely confab with ANOTHER book I’ve been trying to find:

when dreams

They were huddled at the far corner of the bottom shelf of the bookcase behind the TV.  You can’t tell me THAT wasn’t deliberate hiding, you bad books!

Oh, and I’m also re-reading Sabrina Ward Harrison‘s Spilling Open: The Art of Becoming Yourself.

spilling open

And noticing, yet again, that I have TOO MUCH STUFF.  I wrapped one treasure last night in hand stamped brown paper, addressed it, and will take it to the post office on Monday morning with a bunch of partly used up booklets of stamps. (Apparently I thought about sending a lot of Christmas cards in 2005.  Bought stamps and put them in a safe place…)

I’m thinking a lot more “deaccessioning” (isn’t that a great word for “getting out of the collection”?) is going to HAVE to happen. I’m still recovering from the LAST move – things are still in boxes, suitcases, unsorted piles of STUFF…after 5 years.  ARRRGH!

new hair

No makeup and bright sunlight… I’m good at ugly photos!!

VERY short (because 8 months of being white blonde, even with SHORT blonde hair, doesn’t leave you with much to work with) and I expect the colour to fade.  Very easy to manage, though!  (Ever noticed that the majority of post-menopausal women – ok “women of a certain age”, if you prefer – have short hair?  It’s because they realise life is too damn short to worry about hairdryers!)

Meanwhile I’m making LOTS OF MESS up on the kitchen table.  MESSMESSMESS!  Lots of background-y, collage-y papers. I’m just playing with paints and having fun.

But now it’s nap time again – maaaaan this swine flu thing is a COW to kick!

1. Why are cheap bracelets/bangles (And even more expensive kits to make same at the bead shops) sized for teeeeeeeeny wrists? My wrist is 7 inches around. No matter what I weigh. My wrists have been this size since I was 12 years old. And not a single !@*&#)(@*! bangle will go around it. (Let’s just ignore for the moment that the vast majority of bangles also won’t go over my hand to get to my wrist).

And for those who say “Well, buy elastic ones” (TACKY!) “or opening ones” – we run straight back into the 7 inches problem. To those fashmagslags who say bangles and baubles are so very IN for winter? :-ppppppppp raspberries…

(I have never had an opportunity to test this – but I bet Cartier and Tiffany make their bangles BIGGER, dammit!)

2. Why does hair go wiry when it turns grey? Isn’t GREY Punishment enough? Must it stick out from my head like alien antennae too?

3. And why couldn’t it be my CHIN HAIRS that are white/grey, huh? How come the chin hairs have full, rich, hair-colorant-commercial-strength colour from root to tip?

4. You really do become invisible to shop assistants after a certain age. I have reached that age.

A note to staff: You are there to serve ME, the customer. Not gossip about “So and so’s boyfriend” or “So and so in accounts”. ME. I pay your wages, dammit!

Or NOT, if I choose to walk out instead of waiting for you to notice me standing with my wallet open waving CASH at you. (Now I know why older women tend to mutter darkly to themselves in shop doorways…)

5. I have now also reached the age when all the police constables look like they’re far too young to be out by themselves after dark.

Please, whatever Deity is listening – as I age, could I please look like this

Lady Diana Riggs - the ONLY Lady Diana for me

rather than this?

Muaaa haaaaa haaaa my pretties!