Not much… and the lack of men?

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A bit insular – behind tinted glasses (they’re those ones that go darker in the sun, but I won’t be buying them again – I think ordinary glasses plus sunglasses are better) and with my MP3 player blasting P!nk.

I was thinking about how most of my time is spent in the company of women … apart from Mr Beloved I have very few interactions with men.  Most of my doctors are female; most of the shop assistants I talk to when I shop – the only men (apart from Mr Beloved!) I talk to on a regular basis are my Dad (on Sundays, during the weekly phone call) and the Butchers at the shops.

It’s not that I’m anti-men, there are many good blokes around.  Just not that many around ME.

Most of the BOOKS I read are written by women. Most of the music I listen to is created by women. (Well, written/sung by , if not produced by.)

Ah, I’ve just thought of the exception: the radio.  I listen to ABC Radio National a lot, and on there I’d hear more men that women, every day.

As I was thinking about this, Ricë wrote a post about men & art.  I think I am stuck in a bit of an “all girl’s club”  – but to be honest, I’m grateful to find people who ‘get’ me at all, regardless of how they identify.

Thing is – I’m not very good at people right now.  Men OR Women.  I’m feeling pretty vulnerable, tired, fragile, uncertain.  Like if just one person comes along with a sharp pin that I might just explode – or maybe just sag away quietly, a soggy mess in the corner.

The visit to the gastroenterologist was… interesting.  Let’s say that she and I have very different values.  And because it was the first time we had dealt with each other, she didn’t really know (or take time to know) the back issues that got me here… ah well, I’ll take some of her advice, but I don’t think what she suggested is going to fix the problem.  At least she’s sent me off with a form for more blood work in January.

Meantime, I keep plodding along…

1 comment

  1. Celeste’s avatar

    I have nice soft padded shoulders and you are welcome to use them when that is what you need. Sometimes that is all I need, with no demands, or expectations, or "catches", no strings. And then I pick myself up and begin again.

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