August 2009

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and I didn’t know it!

But today I was in another scrapbooking store (souffle pens!) while Hill$ong crappy charismatic creepiness blasted from the store stereo.  That was ok, I could block it out by humming my favourite Lily Allen track (”Fuck you.. fuck you very very muu-uu-uuu-uch…”).

But what intrigued and frightened me was the group of women sitting around a table all with identical pieces of various papers while the teacher drill sergeant said things like “And now we are going to take our 8 cm square of green paper and stick it exactly one inch from the bottom left corner” and the women responding with worried tones: “Have I got this right? Is this ok?”

I would have told her exactly where she could stick her square of paper, I would.  This class was obviously for beginners, ok, but it was doing NOTHING towards raising these women’s confidence or belief in their own right to make decisions!  ARRRRGH!

Please note – I’m not (totally) anti-scrapbooking.  I love the toys in those shops, love the huge variety of coloured papers and printed papers and rub ons and stamps, and the PENS, OMG the pens, I loves me a good pen, who doesn’t? I am THRILLED that scrapbooking stores are around not least because there are such limited options for buying other art supplies locally.

But – WHERE’S THE CREATIVITY? WHERE’S the EMPOWERMENT that making something YOUR OWN brings?

sheep_wideweb__430x302

In the last few posts I have shown you my visual journal – and you can see that I have been learning from other people’s styles.  I am so excited at the prospect of learning more, of getting the INPUT I crave.  But I don’t ever want to just make something exactly the same as anyone else (let alone as the other 6 women at the table  (”Now post your cropped photo of your schoolchild 5 inches from the right of the page…”)

Look, I know you’ve seen (heard?!) this rant before, and I’m sorry, you’ll probably hear it again… but if we are not here to be INDIVIDUALS and find meaning in our own lives – then why are we here at all?

(To see where the thoughtless copying mindset leads, have a squiz at “you thought we wouldn’t notice”, a blog highlighting laziness amongst “creatives” … and see also this post from the (hugely talented and inspiring) Marsha at Tumblefish Studio. )

up early

(apologies for the somewhat blurry text – getting to the end of this book and I really should have propped up the low side on the scanner!)

NOW we’re getting closer?

input

At least it’s different

coherent scrawl

a boring page….

More from the weird book

turquoise

Mexican turquoise pic from a back issue of the Smithsonian (another wonderful subscription I had to let go…)

Letting the pages talk

elegance

[you know how to see it bigger.]

One of my favourites from the old portfolio:

biology and manual training for blog

[click big, yada yada...]

We are about to have our internet access throttled (aaccck!) because SOMEONE was a bit naughty and looked at lots and lots of bandwidth munching art sites this month, didn’t they CAITY?!

(At least they just reduce the speed, they don’t let us keep going and then send a bill for excess use like some (coughb1gp0ndcough) providers.)

I am getting STUCK in my visual journal – too much same same, you know?  I really need to get into some online classes and LEARN STUFF!! (cheaper than books and you get feedback straight away – I ? technology!)

watching

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Got the new printer hooked up today (yay!) but sadly, it has no drivers to make it run on Linux OSs.  Bummer!  Luckily we keep a Windows box around for just such things – my embroidery machine software and Electric Quilt programme also need the infernal Windows. (Don’t tell me to get a Mac, please – they are NOT for povs! $$$$!! And Linux is open source and FREE.)

Also dug out the little photo printer but discovered that leaving the ink cartridge in it for (la la la!) years doesn’t do it much good.  Still, when life hands you lemons, make margaritas:

postcard

Only half the nozzles on the inkjets worked – but I am going to pretend I MEANT that to happen so I could alter/add to these postcard size prints anyway.  Yep!  (I’m hoping that when the new cartridge goes in things will right themselves – if not, I’ll have to do some opening and tinkering – good thing it’s well out of warranty, eh?)

The weather has turned cooler this evening – supposed to only be 8 C (brrr!) overnight.  Yes, I know when I ived in Canberra, it was a good winter day when it got UP to 8 sometimes! But I’m spoilt living here.  The weekend is supposed to bring more heat again.

OK, that’s it for now… things might be slow with only limited access here til midnight on the 2nd!

Mid afternoon, Mr Beloved returned to The Room Of Migrainous Hell (aka the bedroom)  looking pale and shaky.

“What’s wrong”? I asked, ever perceptive, even in my tortured state.

He held his hands apart about 1.5 metres.

“Brown.  Back of shed. I dropped some wood and saw it slither past….”

We’re not sure if it was an Eastern Brown, King Brown, or some other (venomous) snake – but as Mr Beloved says, they’re all part of the genus ahgettawayfromme.

Yep – no more winter in Toowoomba, this year Mother Nature has jumped right past Spring to Summer! There are already bushfires and today was around the 30C mark again (that’s 86 F for you furriners) and it’s supposed to only drop to 17C / 63 F overnight.

Another one from before

Perkins

[click for big]

Done at the same time as “Scared of Numbers” , watercolour, ink, and pearlescent ink on old history textbook page.

I didn’t get to watch the V8 races after all – I had a migraine that saw me cowering in the dark bedroom for most of the day.  Bugger! Off to take more aspro to try and keep it down to a dull roar (I can’t take other anti- migraine medicine becuase of other drugs I have to take.  Sucks, eh?)

So I was reading Michelle Ward’s blog earlier and she had an image of these AWESOME stamps from Stampotique, by an artist new to me.  Daniel Torrente’s style really spoke to me – possibly because of the sunken eyes and scratchy lines being exactly how I’m feeling right now. (grrrrrr.)

So as I was listening to the race (vroooooooom….) I started making little scratchy sketches.

faces

[usual deal  - click images to see bigger]

And then some more characters came out of the pen.  (I drew a self portrait of myself as an anorexic, too, but that was just so disturbing on so many levels I shouldn’t have even mentioned it….)

makeover

Now that I look at those stamps again I’m pleased that they AREN’T really copies of his style.  (For a start, mine are nowhere near as detailed or as good!) but they have definitely come from the Danny Elfman/Tim Burton/Tracy Moore zettiology/ Scott Radke’s awesome puppets/ freaky goth kinda headspace… I really want to work on more of these.

(Technical details, as if anyone is interested: Lamy fountain pen with EF nib; Noodler’s walnut ink, on al cheapo A5 visual diary paper.)

(also – note to self – get the green paint splodge off the scanner screen, sheesh!)

What do you think?

Another stressful Friday night as the DICKHEAD across the creek thinks he can play music as loud as he wants any time he wants because he’s in “an industrial unit”.

Um, no, he can’t.

Unfortunately, no one in authority want to take responsibility – is it a council/police/EPA/? problem? They’re all buck passing and meanwhile we hear “The Best of the ’80s” DOOMPHING through our bedroom….

Much more to the story but suffice to say: we are both incredibly tired and stressed and grumpy.

I am probably not even going to watch the V8 supercars race and it’s the Queensland Raceway meet… so you KNOW I’m feeling unhappy!

Saint Robota Icon

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This is “The Icon of Saint Robota”.

Ink, watercolours, acrylic inks on an old spelling list page.

(I inherited a LOT of school textbooks from my grandfather.  I like painting on pages that are not blank. I think my artist’s statement at the time I had to present this in a portfolio was more eloquent, but that’s what it boiled down to.)

We have wooden floorboards in our house, and our house needs restumping (bloody termites!) so the floors tend to MOVE when we walk around.  Normally that’s not an issue – but over time, things perched precariously on top of other things (ahem!) tend to get closer and closer to the edge until….

CRRRRRRRRASSSSSSSSSSH!

SQUAAAAAAAAARK! EEEEEEK!  Help!

Poor Mr Beloved was ATTACKED by a falling clump of THINGS this afternoon. NOT a good thing for my poor PTSD sweetie…

Anyway, the fallen objects included an A3 cardboard portfolio, which turned out to contain some art works I had made in… ummm… 2005 or 2006, I don’t have a date on any of them.

And I was pleasantly surprised!  OMG, I LIKE THESE! I drew these AND I REALLY REALLY LIKE THEM!! I’m not as hopeless at this as I thought! And I had completely forgotten they even existed.

So, if you’d like to see them, I’ll post a few.  Here’s the first one out of the envelope:

Scared of numbers

[click to see image larger]

Watercolour, ink, on old text book page.

Obsessed! (a bit…)

ARRGH!  I have LOST an issue of Cloth Paper Scissors magazine and I MUST FIND IT!! It’s soooooooooo frustrating – I have every .single. other. issue and there is stuff I HAVE to re-read RIGHT NOW in issue #15 and I have been looking for it for days. ALL WEEK, in fact.

CPS 15

I have looked through all my nests.  (This is what Mr Beloved calls the accumulations of STUFF that appear around me when I get interested in something… my armchair and my bedside table are permanent nests.)

I have shaken out every magazine on the bookshelves in case this issue somehow got tangled inside another one. I have pushed and pulled at books in case the magazine had slipped behind a larger volume.

I have looked in the sewing room, under the kitchen table, under the sofa, behind the tv.

I have found MANY MANY places where this magazine ISN’T.

I have found the instruction sheet for the washing machine (the powder is meant to go WHERE?), many old envelopes (pre-paid – I wonder if Australia post will still honour them?) and where the missing reams of printer paper have been hiding.

I have found several older journals with only a few pages used up.  (It’s hereditary – my grandfather was just the same, he’d use up three or four pages of a writing pad and then start a new one.  10 years after his death, my parents and I are still using up his writing pads. I particularly like the ones which have aged to  a yellow or brown, it’s a very nice patina to them.)

BUT I HAVE NOT FOUND CPS 15!!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!

nike 800

[bigger image if you click]

I had just cut the word  “clone” out of an old (2003 – can I hoard or WHAT?!) magazine, and as a result of my (ahem!) Studio Practice, A Serendipitous Event Occurred. (Or in non art-wank terms – I work messy, and stuff falls on other stuff.) When it landed on the stamped image it just had to stay – I mean, a stamp is a CLONE, yes? Even when it’s a very cool stamp.

And then while I was thinking about stamps, I noticed that a damaged old stamp would fit really well on this page. (A stamp for a stamp, geddit? Oh, the subtlety!!)

Did I mention that I wandered into a local scrapbooking shop yesterday? Well, not quite wandered, since I had to stop the car and park, but it was a spontaneous decision. The first 10 minutes or so were overwhelming  – so many shiny pretty things! But then once I’d got over my initial shock, it made me very sad.

Because there was all this “pre-made” stuff.  This “copy this exactly and you’ll have ART” stuff.  Now, before any keen scrappers jump down my throat, I’m sure there are LOTS of people who buy “scrapbooking” marketed stuff and make original art with it.  I’ve bought scrapbooking papers to use too (mostly plain ones, I have to admit – the colour ranges are so HUGE!) BUT – that’s not what I’m talking ranting about here.

It’s like the quilters who want to make a quilt out of a magazine or pattern using EXACTLY THE SAME FABRICS in exactly the same positions as the picture.

I JUST DON’T GET IT! I mean, yes, I know all about lack of confidence in one’s own artistic judgement.  I know all about feeling like I shouldn’t be using The Good Stuff when it’s “just” something I’m making. I have art heroes, people I am HUGELY inspired by, whose style I might even try to imitate…

BUT…

why use someone else’s art?  I just don’t get that.

It may be weird but at least it’s mine….

Caity the Muddle-Headed: Darling, I’m looking for a book I’m pretty sure I own – The Creative License by Danny Gregory? About [this] big by [this] big? Paperback?

TeaBot5000™: (after brief rant in which he expresses frustration at being required to be The All Knowing Librarian, WHO ALWAYS has to shift books around, etc, all of which is true) Of course you can’t find it, you’re LOOKING for it.  You’ll have to wait ’til it sneaks up on you.

CTMH: I know, I’ll go look on amazon and see if… AHA!  I do own it, I ordered it in 2006!

TB: It may not have made it out of the bedroom yet sweetie.

CTMH: I must have cleaned the bedroom since 2006! SURELY!

TB: “Cleaned” is different from “Left the bedroom”, sweetie.

CTMH: Humph.

Creative License

It turns our it HAD left the bedroom (ha!) And was having a lovely confab with ANOTHER book I’ve been trying to find:

when dreams

They were huddled at the far corner of the bottom shelf of the bookcase behind the TV.  You can’t tell me THAT wasn’t deliberate hiding, you bad books!

Oh, and I’m also re-reading Sabrina Ward Harrison’s Spilling Open: The Art of Becoming Yourself.

spilling open

And noticing, yet again, that I have TOO MUCH STUFF.  I wrapped one treasure last night in hand stamped brown paper, addressed it, and will take it to the post office on Monday morning with a bunch of partly used up booklets of stamps. (Apparently I thought about sending a lot of Christmas cards in 2005.  Bought stamps and put them in a safe place…)

I’m thinking a lot more “deaccessioning” (isn’t that a great word for “getting out of the collection”?) is going to HAVE to happen. I’m still recovering from the LAST move – things are still in boxes, suitcases, unsorted piles of STUFF…after 5 years.  ARRRGH!

catcat

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Why yes, I have been looking at a lot of Teesha Moore’s work, she is awesome! (of course, this is just my very basic version inspired by her style – she is really one of the Goddesses of Art Journals…)

I’m also playing around with just making stuff that makes me HAPPY.  Orange always makes me happy, it always has – I went through a phase in my early teen years where I wore the most amazing ORANGE tunic style shirt  ALL THE TIME, it had a cowl neckline, a twisted cotton rope sash, and was hip length.  I loved that top!

Yesterday I dragged out a box of other paper art/journal art stuff – found stamps (including a little date stamp  – yay!) and all sorts of painted paper that I’d forgotten I’d made. And paper napkins and sequin waste and stencils I’d cut and one very sad stamp pad – the surface just DELAMINATED when I tried to use it – another timely reminder to USE YOUR STUFF!!

new hair…. hmmmm.

new hair

No makeup and bright sunlight… I’m good at ugly photos!!

VERY short (because 8 months of being white blonde, even with SHORT blonde hair, doesn’t leave you with much to work with) and I expect the colour to fade.  Very easy to manage, though!  (Ever noticed that the majority of post-menopausal women – ok “women of a certain age”, if you prefer – have short hair?  It’s because they realise life is too damn short to worry about hairdryers!)

Meanwhile I’m making LOTS OF MESS up on the kitchen table.  MESSMESSMESS!  Lots of background-y, collage-y papers. I’m just playing with paints and having fun.

But now it’s nap time again – maaaaan this swine flu thing is a COW to kick!

Reluctantly, I am leaving the Happy Land of the Blonde.

I have enjoyed being blonde.  It suits my skin tone.  I like super white blonde hair.

BUT it costs too many $$ too often. *sigh*

Stay tuned – new hair tomorrow!

blossom

bursting

Peach Tree worm tree, useless for most of the year – but oh, the spring blossom!!

… if you’ll show me yours.

Here is my current workspace (sometimes known as the kitchen table) mid art journal page the other day:

workspace

[clicky for biggy, you really want to see some of this!]

I cannot create in a sterile space.  I also find it very difficult to leave white space in my art. (An art teacher commented on this negatively – to which I replied “And which part of BIPOLAR DISORDER are you not understanding?”)

And there must be tea. Lots of tea.

So -how about you? Do you DARE show your workspace in full fling? And do you crave chaotic clutter to create, or seek serenity in your space?  I personally subscribe to at least three of the Guiding Principles of the Institute of Backyard Studies:

  • A big mess in the shed or the backyard is only a problem for those without a clue.guiding-principles.pngguiding-principles.png
  • Reticence, mumbling and disorganisation are the signs of a deep and enquiring mind.
  • Good ideas are precious beyond rubies but if not shared freely are as useless as tits on a bull.

My art spaces and sewing piles are my “shed” .  If you haven’t heard of the Institute before, do go and visit – make sure you check out the youtube of Hoke’s Random Excuse Generator working, it is a Thing Of Beauty.

And in further backyard news… we went and looked at chooks today!!  Hoping to have the run built and the snake (and fox) proof wire costed within this fortnight…

At long last – yesterday was THE DAY for the solar hot water installation!  We’ve had the unit and various boxes for SIX WEEKS but because of bad weather and then we were sick and then the installer was sick – well, it was THE DAY.  Things didn’t start all that well – the Blokes arrived (having driven up from Brisbane) a bit after nine and discovered straight away that VITAL COMPONENTS WERE MISSING.  Oh noes!

Boss Bloke got on the phone to the supplier.  Did I mention the AGONY we had already gone through getting anything done with the supplier?  Because our solar electricity panels were part of a government pilot program, we were assigned to a supplier who had won the government tender.  Had we but known…

The supplier has been just AWFUL to deal with.  At one point they even sent OUR information to another customer in Toowoomba (!!) and we received yet ANOTHER customer’s personal details – bad enough, right?  But add in the phone calls never returned, the forms not sent, yada yada yada… Anyway, we had already ordered the solar hot water system at the same time (last NOVEMBER, can you believe it?!) as the solar electricity, well before we knew what a stuff up they would make of everything.

So we’ve got Offsider Bloke getting down to things and removing the old hot water heater (which we then discovered had been leaking for quite some time..) and removing Lino of Renovations Past and (aha!) mouldy newspapers from 1976.  Which means our hot water heater was 33 years old – no WONDER it was getting sicker and sicker! They have a mean time to failure of about TEN years!

bathroom floor

(Floor is actually still pretty solid – looks worse than it is, and needs a good drying out)

Outside, Boss Bloke is ranting (quite justifiably) at the supplier saying “Vital Parts… you do this to other tradies but you don’t bloody well do it to ME… get it HERE!” and being told that the part was leaving on a courier RIGHT THEN.  (Which turned out to be a LIE on the part of the supplier – what a surprise, eh?)

Long story short – even after spending an hour for lunch and driving round various stores in Toowoomba, the tradies couldn’t get a replacement part.  Obviously made of pure unobtainium, that bit. More angry phone calls, drama, etc… and tradies standing around doing NOTHING  – which as you know, costs $$$.

I phoned the CEO of the supplier and had a rant. The courier still not here – a 90 minute trip had so far taken 6 hours, if we were to believe the supplier. Roadworks? Sure, there are roadworks on the Warrego Highway, but SIX HOURS? I DON’ THINK SO!!

Offsider Bloke is getting increasingly surly as the afternoon wears on… Boss Bloke is fuming but still chatting amicably some of the time… both Mr Beloved and I are EXHAUSTED from dealing with people in our space (and demanding people at that) all day… and at close to 5 pm the courier arrives!!!  YAY!!!

Eventually we get the paperwork sorted, I’m out of pocket a HEAP extra (well, actually, Mum and Dad are in the long run, since they have kindly and generously offered to fund the solar hot water, *mwah* Mum and Dad!) that I am going after the Supplier for.  The invoice from the installer notes that the extra impost is Due to delays caused by non-supply of parts, as discussed with CEO of Supplier.

Boss Bloke and Offsider Bloke finally get away at almost 6 pm.  Mr Beloved and I manage to eat something (hooray for about to be out-of-date filled pasta on sale at the supermarket!) and end up in bed by 7:30 pm. (although Mr B gets up and does his computer and online stuff, which is Good For Him.)

At this point, I am VERY glad that Supplier is so stupid about record keeping and paperwork – you see, THEY HAVE YET TO BILL US FOR THE SOLAR HOT WATER UNIT.  Which means that WE have the winning hand – and if we have to take them to small claims court it will still be worth our while.  Because as I said to the CEO – I can’t afford to have had tradies standing around doing nothing . So he’s bloody well gonna wear that charge.

solar panels

[See the solar panels? The one on the lower part of the roof is the new solar hot water one.  As you can see, it's quite overcast today, so it will be interesting to see how much hot water we get.  Fortunately the hot water heater also has an electric element and a pump, so we ALWAYS should have hot water...]

what bird

The late afternoon thrill was my very first sighting and identification (thanks to our venerable 1963 edition of Mr Cayley’s What Bird Is That?)of red browed finches in our yard!!  I was lying in bed this morning just replaying the excitement when I realised I suddenly GOT IT – the thing that mad twitchers (birdwatchers) are about.  I’m hoping that today I might be able to get a photo, you really have to see the RED on these teeny birds, and the way they are totally fearless about hopping around in front of you!  (And I think I might have to treat myself to an updated bird book – this one tells me that the Latin name is Ægintha temporalis, but it’s now called Neochmia Temporalis.)

And this morning I also heard the wonderful “mooopmoopmoopmooop” call of the Tawny Frogmouth.  Ahhh! Birdy bliss!

Well, It’s now 10 am, I better get my day started… before I go, here’s some other birdy news: our cockatiel hen, Bolly, is spending all her time in the nesting box, sitting on at least two eggs! She has yet to actually get eggs to hatch (although the last lot did appear to have chick embryos well formed before she gave up on them) but this could be the year we get baby birds…

memory smaller

[click to see a bigger image]

The writing says “I know I am losing my memory… But mostly I forget to worry about it.”

Think it might be a good one to show the psychologist tomorrow, yes?

Do you have ANY IDEA how frustrating it is to constantly read the word “Slip waxed paper in between the pages”… or variants thereof WHEN THERE IS NO WAXED PAPER TO BE HAD ANYWHERE?!!?

Seriously, every bookbinding/journaling technique I am reading now recommends this, and assumes it’s easy to get.

BUT IT’S NOT.

Not a single supermarket in town even STOCKS waxed paper anymore.  You used to be able to buy rolls of it, or packets of precut sheets, but NOOOOOO, not now!  Mr Beloved and I think it’s because those little zip-lock sandwich bags have become ubiquitous.

And no, silicone coated baking paper/”parchment” does NOT work as well.  *sigh*

Can anyone help me in locating and buying some? PLEASE?

lemon butter

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Yes, I know too much is BAD FOR YOU (heck, isn’t that what “too MUCH” means?!?!) but there is  NOTHING to compare to home made lemon butter on toast.  Mmmmmmmm.  I used Nigella’s Lemon Curd recipe from How to Eat.  (I don’t know why the names – butter or curd – are interchangeable, but apparently they are.)

This was a recipe that would be utterly UTTERLY perfect if I already had two of my dream things for the house: chooks (for the 4 whole eggs plus 4 yolks) and a lemon tree (for the 4 lemons).  Slowly, slowly, we’ll work towards getting things set up the way we would like.

I have very fond memories of my Mum making lemon butter – I think we must have had a lot of lemons available!   I also remember that Lemon Butter was a good thing to buy at church fetes and street stalls… possibly because it came from people who had chooks +lemon trees.

Oh, and after the first spoonful of the luscious home made version, the remainder of the FOUL store bought version (all citric acid and cornflour, possibly with artifical lemon essence… ewww!) was binned.  We kept the jar (of course!) to use for the next batch…

At least I’ll have an adequate vitamin C intake this week, eh?  The flu symptoms are FINALLY abating (fingers crossed!) – as in, I only wake up coughing a couple of times a night now, and the aches are approaching normal range (underlying fibromyalgia has NOT helped with recovery!).  I was somewhat heartened when watching the V8 supercars racing yesterday to hear a comment that one of the drivers – and bear in mind that these guys are endurance athletes, wrestling their cars around for hours at a time in temperatures often over 40 degrees – anyhow, one of these super-fit guys was still recovering from the flu that had laid him low at the last race meeting a month ago.  And I am NOT an athlete!  Another week off from the gym, though, then I get to start back gently gently…

Oh – and it amused me that the stove was so far out of scale with the lemon person.  Tee hee! I am being Very Good and actually USING my “good” art supplies – there are still a lot of colours in my tin of 30 Caran D’ache Neocolor II watercolour crayons that are untouched, but at least I have used SOME now!

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