I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t make myself go to the 18 year old’s funeral.
Excuses included: my bones ache; I’m too exhausted; it’s about to rain (and the church is never going to fit in all the people who will attend); and the ever popular tantrum cry of “I DON’T WANNA.”
The real reasons I didn’t go include: the last funeral I attended was my sister’s. And somehow, I’m still not ready to see someone else’s siblings and parents grieving.
Also, I’m a wuss. When his parents asked everyone to “Please wear bright colours to celebrate his life” I had to fight back tears and a ginormous lump in my throat.
I’ll send a card, but I just couldn’t do the funeral. Does that make a selfish bitch?
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Tags: Family, Mental Health
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Not in the slightest. *hugs*
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No. It makes a sensitive one.
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It is not a requirement to go to a funeral, and you don’t need an excuse. Yes, I know that people say you should do it for the family. But there are other ways to express sympathy. Sometimes one can handle a funeral, sometimes one can’t. I think grieving is truly one area of life where people do not have the right to judge others.
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Definitely NOT! I think you have done the right thing. Much as I understand why you felt you should go, I don’t think you should have. You didn’t go for all the RIGHT reasons. Send a card, they will appreciate you were thinking of them. They have a lot going on in their lives right now, so they will not be upset that you didn’t make it to the funeral. Tell the guilty feelings to go away – you did the right thing for YOU and that is OK!
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I agree, I also have not gone to funerals when I know I just can’t deal with it all. My Dad’s and my younger sisters were very hard, but it does awaken one to how other people feel, which is a good thing, and they too can understand why sometimes one can’t go. Don’t flog yourself.
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Hey chickie, while a funeral is a very sad occasion, it is also a celebration of everything that person has meant to us. it’s a chance to remember the good times and recognise the impact that they have had on our lives and after all isn’t that all we ever want from our lives? to have mattered? While you weren’t at the funeral, and for very good reasons – you are not a wuss, it doesn’t mean that you won’t continue to remember your friend and appreciate those that are still with you. and incidently i don’t ever wear black to funerals anymore. i try to wear something that has significance for me relating to the person i am farwelling. kisses.
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No.
It shows that you are wise enough to realise your limits. Also, it would appear that there were more than enough people there. I second all of the above comments. Send a nice heartfelt card, it will be appreciated.
With much love
Annie
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provided you are honest with yourself as to why you didn’t want to go – and it looks like you were – then no it doesn’t make you a wuss neither does it make you a horrible unfeeling person.
Sometimes you just can’t handle another grief
and there’s no good reason why you shouldhugz
s
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