The hunt for (un)read Ottobre continues. (See what I did there with the lame Tom Clancy reference? Oh wait, there’s obviously a redundant word there – I mean, he was GREAT for the first coupla books, am I right? But give him dialogue or female characters and – ewww. No wonder he franchised himself out…)
Small diversion there while the steam escapes from my ears. Seriously, WHERE IS THIS MAGAZINE HIDING? (And why can’t I just LET IT GO?!?! It’s not like I don’t have – oh, I dunno – about a GAZILLION other patterns I could be sewing!))
And speaking of things hiding: When I was in Adelaide I bought two glove puppets from Ikea. (Not that I can find THEM on the Ikea websites anywhere in the world, either – it’s a conspiracy! Stop me before I get back onto the Tom Clancy stuff, ok!) One was a pantomime-y sort of horse, and the other – to my great glee – was a moose.
I have a thing about saying “CHOCOLATE MOOSE!” and making antlers with my fingers whenever the opportunity arises to have chocolate mousse. (Obviously). So I was having the BEST time running around Ikea saying “CHOCOLATE MOOOOOOOOOSE!” with this silly $4 glove puppet.
But as The Teabot5000 pointed out, the ways of the moose are subtle. And moose has become quite well travelled as he lurks, hiding, until the other person finds him and squirrels (SQUIRRELS! Nothing up my sleeve! – Oh, I just slay me. And wasn’t Tom Clancy still a bit obsessed with Boris and Natasha types?!) him away to turn up – anywhere. He’s already been to the gym with me, hidden in the ginger-nuts container, and developed a lovely singing voice when placed over the old doorbell chime unit.
Today I was innocently out at my Personal Training session, then lunch with the girls, and I get home to find my blog has been MOOSEJACKED!! (tee hee!)
I’m not looking forward to tomorrow. Mostly because I have a 9 am appointment at a different gym as part of the Weight Management Program and they’re going to make me run on a treadmill (HA! So THEY think – I can’t run on those things!) and then keep pricking my fingers and measuring the lactic acid levels in my blood or some such, which allegedly will determine my ideal cardio training rate. Whatever. I have to – get this – FAST – and have NO CAFFEINE – for three hours prior to this torture.
I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
NOT EVEN THE DOG WILL COME NEAR ME BEFORE MY FIRST CUP OF TEA.
(In fact, I suspect the Teabot 5000 actually uses a tray on a looooooong stick to deposit my first cuppa on my bedside table. Possibly while wearing full protective gear just in case. I don’t know this, because I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.)
And they want to make me do their DUMB tests when I’m already HAPPY with MY Gym and MY personal trainer? GRRR! If I had liked these people AT ALL I might have started training with them at my other session of this sort of torture months ago – but they were nasty and the gym they were working out of then was vile. They’re at a new place now, but I really resent having to go and waste workout energy on stuff that’s not MY program…
Ahem. I may just have a teensy issue or two around this, ya think?!
And now I think I have definitely earned some raspberries and ricotta and maybe a banana as well. Since I’m going to be clawing at my STOMACH in the morning anyway…
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