… here we are, day 26 after the operation. I’m still super tired, and needing painkillers every 4 hours… unless I sleep though, which is nice, I guess. My tummy is GINORMOUS – seriously, from standing up I can’t see my feet. And sore - yikes, is my belly sore!
I’m also worried about being careful and not lifting stuff, or overdoing things – not easy, when just doing the dishes (Poor Teabot5000™ was exhausted, and it was something small I could do…) wears me out. The big fear is developing more adhesions – I do not want to EVER have to have abdominal surgery again, since I now know what a low pain threshold I have! (Hardly surprising, given I’ve been in chronic pain since 1992 – yep, 16 years will really burn that message into your neural pathways, huh.)
Also – I can’t have hormone replacement therapy for at least another 2 months – arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!! Anything that acts like estrogen (ie, anything that works to stop the symptoms!) could trigger any remaining little bits of endometriosis – and then we’d have to do this all again. No thanks!
The hot flushes are much worse at night (why?!) When I can sleep during the day I might only have one or two, but at night they’re ALL THE TIME – just far enough apart for me to hope that I might actually get some sleep and then the next wave hits.
(I’ve put the picture for this post and more sewing stuff below the cut, as it’s got nudity. (Not mine!)
So – I have NOTHING to wear! Now I have an even bigger bulge where my waist used to be, I am finding it hard to stay positive. I’m not quite up to going out, so it doesn’t matter all that much if I stay in jarmies all day – except it’s really depressing being Super House-Frump of the Year, y’know?
And in October I have been invited to an event which instructs “FROCK UP!” Which of course, I’m only too glad of the opportunity to do. But none bugger all of my previous pattern choices suit my new “apple” shape.
In fact, I haven’t even been counting calories, and I have no idea of my weight (I can’t have scales here at home or I get obsessive) so I’m procrastinating about even measuring myself to see what size pattern to look for. (I see the dietician next Friday. I haven’t been bingeing or anything – but I have been pretty much confined to bed. And those stomach muscles aren’t going to knit on their own… and I can’t exercise until at least after the 24th, when I see the OB/Gyn next.)
So, while I would love to make and wear something like this darling dress, probably with those so-flattering angel sleeves and lovely nipped in waist, it’s just not gonna happen. Isn’t it cute, though?
No, I’ll probably make this one – and hope it doesn’t look too frightfully maternity. Cos frankly, the LAST thing I need after a hysterectomy would be someone asking “And when are you due, dear?”
I dunno – it could work -or it could make me feel like a pregnant whale. We shall see. I’m still at least a week away from being able to even cut out the pattern tissue, let alone the fabric and attempt to fit and stitch the darn thing!
*sigh*
More than the insomnia and the hot flushes, it’s the irrational crying that really gets to me. REALLY. For someone who already has depression, the additional topsy-turviness turns EVERY LITTLE THING INTO THE LAST STRAW!!! And don’t even talk to me about the soppy phone ads where the happy relatives all see the new baby, nuh-uh. Bad.
Time for my medicine and back to bed…. the Teabot5000™ assures me he will cheer you all up with one of his wonderful posts soon.
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Tags: Health, Other Sewing Projects
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ah, Caity, I feel for you! The hot flushes at night are awful, aren’t they? Do feel free to cry all over the OB/GYN chap, won’t you, he should experience at least some of your pain
Still, you’re over the worst bit, the actual operation, and the first few weeks of recovery; it can only get better from here – by Christmas you’ll be fighting fit (and slimmer) I’m sure.
I really like the dress with the unpressed pleats, perhaps you could make it in a darkish fabric a la the Little Black Dress, and wear a stunning neckpiece/ornament thingy with it, to concentrate attention ABOVE your waist?
My commiserations also to Teabot5000, he must be tired from the constant supplying of Clean White Hankies!
love Marcie -
Dear Caity, stop worrying, if you can. The shape will sort itself out in time, esp when you get to be able to do a little exercise. All the muscles have had a big fright and the others are on holidays. When you are getting around a bit more all will come good. It will all tighten up and hte shape will change. And that is a killer dress!
Much love Chriss -
I feel for you. A lot of what you’re saying really resonates with surgeries I’ve had. Over time, it will get better.
In the meantime, that dress you’re thinking of making looks great. I really like the lines on it; not maternity at al!
Don’t worry about your shape or weight. When you see the dietician and the OB/Gyn, you can share your concerns and state of recovery with them, and they can make recommendations. “Slow and steady” is better and more sustainable than “fast and furious”.
All the best -
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Hang in there, this too shall pass.
As for apple dressing….. I really recommend the Ottobre gathered neck tee from Ottobre 02-2007. I just go out at the side seams a bit. Not maternityish at all. Also check out Sherril’s blog http://sewingsaga.blogspot.com/ because she’s an apple too and makes lovely clothes.
Hope you’re feeling better soon.
Hugs. -
Hey Caity,
I’ll join you in the anxiety about frocking for the FROCK UP event, literally don’t know what I’ll wear as what frocks I own are in storage; I suspect I’ll have to take the order in a less literal sense and wear smart pants of some sort.Having blithered on enough about me, I like your choice of frock and think Chriss’ idea about muscles on holidays is a good one (I wonder if there’s a cartoon skit somewhere of that)
As for the weight, I suspect you’ll be pleasantly surprised and even if not, it’ll come off. I have faith.
Take care..
Karen
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Marcie, what a good idea – black was not a colour I had considered, but it would be way more slimming – and any excuse to go looking for a faboo necklace seems good to me!
I see the Dr on the 24th – that’s the 6 week check-up, after which I *hopefully* will be cleared to do a lot more….
Thanks also for commiserations to Teabot – he is indeed very tired, poor lad.
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Chriss – yep, my muscles have indeed had a mighty scaring! Love the notion of the rest being on holidays – little buggers are off having exotic fruity drinks with paper umbrellas in them (the drinks, not the muscles!) I’m sure.
I’m reconsidering the dress…
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Tanya, thanks – patience is NOT one of my virtues, but in my more rational moments I know that things will come right eventually. (Just – could I have it NOW, please?!)
Seriously, I don’t EVER want to have surgery again – it HURTS!
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Keely – ah, I have that Ottobre mag, just need to dig it out! And thanks for the reminder about Sherill, too – I haven’t been reading a while lot of blogs just yet, so I have a lot of catching up to do.
(Fingers crossed the new Ottobre will be in the post tomorrow – that would be quite motivating!)
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Karen, I think the spirit of FROCK UP is more important than the actual frock – I’m always looking for an excuse to buy a new pattern even if I don’t get to sew it up! Thanks for the positivity about recovery and weight – sometimes I get so bogged down… *sigh*!
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