*sigh*

Yep, still here.  Still in pain.  Which, as I have said before, is better than the alternative.  But still - *sigh*.  Because I’m tired. Tired because my iron levels are probably through the floor again (despite my taking HORSE PILLS - ugh! of iron daily) and tired because I’m not sleeping well because of the pain.

Bring on Tuesday.

And while I’m talking about “the alternative” - ie, DYING - just want to let my feelings be known here.  I have completed an Advance Health Directive, even had my doctor look over it and sign the appropriate parts (just got to get a JP/ Commissioner for Declarations to witness it now.)  That’s a looooong form with lots of tick boxes that say things like “In the event of last stage terminal illness, I do/do not want the following things to happen; and then there are tick boxes for things like “assisted ventilation” and “Antibiotics” and such.

(Seriously, if you’ve never thought about this, go check it out and let your loved ones know, ok?  Cos do YOU want to have to make the decision about whether or not to put your sweetie on a ventilator?  Isn’t it better to KNOW what they would want?)

Basically: if I’m not coming back (in a persistant vegetative state, or extended coma) then keep as many parts that are salvageable in as usable condition as possible, in order to donate EVERYTHING possible to those who need the organs/tissues.

And for afterwards: Do NOT have a church service.  Do NOT bury me (unless you can find an eco-bury type arrangement where my body gets composted or planted under a tree or something… but I have yet to find out the legalities around that) so please just cremate me and do what you want with the ashes. I can’t stand cemetaries and I think the little remembrance plaques are even worse.  So just - DON’T.  Ok?

Everything I own goes to Mr Beloved.  (Almost as simple as the possibly apocryphal Will of three words: “All to Wife.” )

Seems weird to me that some people don’t ever think about this sort of thing.  (is it just because I have lived with depression for so long that I have thought about this a lot?)  Also strikes me as odd that I have a house and sheds FULL OF STUFF that I’m not all that attached to, in the end - I mean, yes, I’d miss stuff if it all went tomorrow, but really?  It just isn’t that important.

Think I’ll be doing a big de-clutter as soon after surgery as I’m cleared to be lifting stuff, huh?

*sigh*

Off to make dinner now.  Not hungry but have to eat, blah blah blah.