With or without Asperger’s, different people simply have different styles. You and I like to form goals, figure out what needs to be done to reach them, and get on with it. Many other people aren’t quite so goal or logic-driven, or they have agendas of their own. It can be difficult to understand and maddening to witness.

There’s probably some middle ground between having no in-person social interactions and getting sucked into being the driver for projects with a bunch of folks who move like their feet are encased on concrete. My gut reaction would be to back off from the group a little, but not entirely, and only participate in things which don’t require meeting goals.

If this concerns the group of people I think it does, there may also be a bit of an “old girl’s” group thing going on, too. People are happy to welcome newcomers and are friendly as far as that goes, but ceding over any control of even minutiae can take awhile.

As far as dealing with bullies, most women, myself included, would benefit from learning how to be guiltlessly assertive. This is a key difference between men and women, I think. When men have differences of opinion, they get it out there and I don’t think they feel guilty over it.

Or, heck. Maybe I’m way off base with all of these comments. Regardless, I hope you get some physical and emotional rest and feel better soon.