Well, I’m totally peopled out and exhausted - had to crash in bed as soon as I got home this arvo. WHY do I talk myself into these situations?
Answer: because I don’t believe you get to whinge about something unless you’re prepared to get in and have a go & make a difference. I suppose I could stop wanting to make things better/different? But indifference does NOT appeal.
I just need better strategies for dealing with people - especially BULLIES. I don’t know what to do with bullies. If I back down I feel - well, bullied - and if I attempt to stand up to them I think I come across as being - ummmm - rude?
I also find it really difficult when other people don’t stay focused and on task - which makes me seem like I’m being pushy. If I’m in a meeting, I want to get the things done that need to be done, get tasks assigned, and get it sorted.
Other people want to share every little experience from years ago that may have related in some minor and peripheral way to the discussion at hand. Or tell me how “We tried it that way once (and therefore we are never going to revisit the issue regardless of what may have changed.”)
My new mantra for such meetings will be “That’s very nice, but how is it relevant?”
Or I could just not go, not be involved, and go back to having no social interaction except online, hmmm?
Hi, I’m Caity, and I’m an ASPIE….
I wish I’d know that years ago - it would have saved me from a lot of “life lessons” … I’m going to go curl up in bed and whimper now.
Viv Stanshall from the Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah band said it best:
My pink half of the drainpipe
Separates me from the incredibly fascinating story of your life and every day to day event in all its minute and tedious attention to detail… And was it a Thursday or a Wednesday? Or, oh, no, it wasn’t though. Oh,who cares anyway because I do not so Norman, if you’re normal, I intend to be a freak for the rest of my life, and I shall baffle you with cabbages and rhinoceroses in the kitchen and incessant quotations from “Now We Are Six” through the mouthpiece of Lord Snooty’s giant poisoned electric head.
So
theeeeeere………
Tags: Aspergers, Mental Health
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Caity, if I’m reading what you’ve written correctly and am not projecting too much, I’m concerned that you may be blaming yourself too much for this interaction.
With or without Asperger’s, different people simply have different styles. You and I like to form goals, figure out what needs to be done to reach them, and get on with it. Many other people aren’t quite so goal or logic-driven, or they have agendas of their own. It can be difficult to understand and maddening to witness.
There’s probably some middle ground between having no in-person social interactions and getting sucked into being the driver for projects with a bunch of folks who move like their feet are encased on concrete. My gut reaction would be to back off from the group a little, but not entirely, and only participate in things which don’t require meeting goals.
If this concerns the group of people I think it does, there may also be a bit of an “old girl’s” group thing going on, too. People are happy to welcome newcomers and are friendly as far as that goes, but ceding over any control of even minutiae can take awhile.
As far as dealing with bullies, most women, myself included, would benefit from learning how to be guiltlessly assertive. This is a key difference between men and women, I think. When men have differences of opinion, they get it out there and I don’t think they feel guilty over it.
Or, heck. Maybe I’m way off base with all of these comments. Regardless, I hope you get some physical and emotional rest and feel better soon.
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Hi Caity…even though I haven’t been by in awhile…I still love your sense of humor and your observations on life. Glad you had a great birthday. Cheers.
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